DIY

Scene: I'm standing on a chair in the kitchen, reorganizing the small appliances the workers haphazardly placed after they finished painting our kitchen.

Z: "Why are you doing that? Let the workers do it."

AT: "I can do it myself. What do I need them for?"

Z: "Just tell them how you want it organized and they'll come and do it."

AT: "It's not a big deal. I can have it done before they can even get up here."

Z: "But it's their job. Just stand here and tell them how you want it and they'll do it."

AT: "I told them how I wanted it, and this is how they kept it. I'll do it my way, it will be done in two minutes, and it will be the way I want it. You know, in the US you don't have someone you can call every time you want a small task done. You have to do it yourself."

Z: "Don't scare me like that."

 

When I was making plans to move to India I was given a single piece of advice by my then Site Director "Don't become too dependent on others to do things for you."

 

In India, hired help is just a call and a 20 rupee note away. Anything you want done, any time, day or night, there's someone you can call and hire to do it. Just two years after arriving, I'm realizing how completely dependent I've become on others for super basic things I've done for myself most of my life.

 

When I first came here I felt guilty asking my watchman to get me breakfast or to go to the market or to take my clothes to be pressed. My husband kept telling me "it's his job." Not really. His job is to keep the exterior of the apartment clean, be a Mr Fix-It when required, and ensure our building is relatively secure.

 

Fast forward 2 years: Hired help takes my laundry to be pressed, hired help presses it, and hired help goes and picks it up after it's pressed. Hired help makes my lunch and my tea. Hired help takes me to and from office every day. Hired help replaces a burnt out light bulb, or an empty water bottle, or an empty toothpaste tube. Every little thing, is done by someone else; to the point of my own paralysis. If my cook doesn't come, I don't eat. If someone doesn't take my clothes for pressing, I don't wear business formal to the office. I've become completely dependent on others and I find it maddening.

 

Having someone there to do every small task has put me into a state of helplessness when I'm left to my own devices. What I find most frustrating about it, is that I have to wait for said help to arrive then spend what feels like an excessive amount of time trying to explain what I want, and watching over them to offer direction in order to ensure it's done right. In that time, I could have just done it myself, and no doubt saved some money and my own aggravation.

 

I've always been a strongly independent person and I'm stunned and rather dismayed about how quickly that quite admirable trait has vanished from my character. I try and justify it by saying that everything is so damn difficult here that you should take help where you can get it. Let someone else fuss over the small stuff. Part of me is appreciative for that reason, and the other part realizes how sheltered I've been over the past 2 years because I've always had someone there to do everything for me and I've had pretty limited instances where I've had to struggle for anything. That's a blessing, but could also be a curse.

Food Myths and Mysteries

Food is centric to all cultures. India is no exception. There are many beliefs related to food that I struggle to wrap my stomach around.

Chikoo Fruit

As summer is here, I've received no shortage of warnings regarding "heat" foods. Heat foods are foods that are said to increase your body's core temperature, or so I'm told. Heat foods can be beneficial at times, for example if you have a sore throat, you should eat a boiled egg, because it will draw heat to your throat and sooth the pain. In the summer months, however, heat food should be avoided, so as to spare your health. Heat foods include, but are not limited to; eggs (specifically the yoke), chicken, mutton, mangoes, chikoo fruit (which I consider a meal on the go, and like to have it when I'm hungry but don't want to eat). Also on the list is ginger (in every curry), coriander, capsicum (green pepper), coconut, dates, guava, jack fruit, grapes and coffee (derr).

Because these foods are said to increase your body temperature, it is also believed consuming them will result in acne, fever, sleeplessness, indigestion, constipation, and irritability (I'm generally irritable when I'm constipated).

Now if you want to cool off, you can lean towards the staples, such as watermelon and cucumber which are mostly water and will aid in hydration and will keep you cool. That much I don't doubt. But also included in this list is papaya, bananas, pineapple, tomatoes, corn, cauliflower, curd/dahi which is somewhere between sour cream and plain yogurt, sugar cane (the juice is made fresh by vendors on the street and is amazing), and turmeric which is made into a powder or paste and added to curry. I don't know about you, but for me, when it's 115 degrees outside, eating some corn isn't up there on my list when it comes to cooling effects.

Meetha Paan

In addition to heating and cooling foods, you have things which will aid in digestion, which is a very centric theme around here. I'm constantly having things thrust at me with the statement "Eat/Drink this. It helps with digestion." I must look constipated. most probably from all the chicken and eggs I eat. While I value the importance of things that aid in my digestion, I'm unable to connect the dots and understand exactly how the following items would help: coconut water, lassi (a watered down milk beverage sweetened with sugar, sweet pan (Meetha Paan which is a mixture of coconut, fruit preserves, rose petal preserves, and spices, wrapped in a betel leaf and topped with a cherry).

Coconut water I'm not a fan of, but lassi and paan are nice so I don't mind. For many Westerners, a dinner out to an Indian restaurant will not require any digestive aids, but here, with the mass quantities of rice eaten multiple times a day, every day, some help can be required.

I did some research on these theories which lead me to believe that this was largely the Chinese influence. I don't know what to think of them. It's not a concept I recall from my Western up-bringing and one I struggle to embrace, regardless of it's strong following by seemingly everyone here in India.

Curry: It's What's For Dinner

Tomato curry.

Aloo (potato) curry.

Gobi (cauliflower) curry.

Cabbage (I don't know what that is in Hindi) curry.

Mixed Veg curry.

 

It all contains chili powder, onions, green chilies, curry leaves, ginger garlic paste, salt, masala (spice mixture). And it ALL TASTES THE SAME.

 

I've been eating it every day for the past 20 months and I think I've reached my breaking point.

 

Whether we are eating at home or eating in a restaurant, it's all the same. Five star hotel or road side dhaba, it's all the same.The same combination of spices in every dish virtually ensures every dish will taste the same. I'm to the point where it doesn't matter what my cook prepares, or what I order while out, I know exactly what to expect. The only decision is: Rice or Roti? And really, is that a decision? To either eat steamed, flavorless rice or dry, flavorless chapati (flat bread). Either way, it's just a vessel to push the same ole curry down your gullet.

 

I miss the variety of food options in the US. Instead of saying "Do you want potato curry or tomato curry?" it was "Do you want Italian or Mexican?" Options are available on every end of the spectrum. If you're not sure what to prepare for dinner, having a simple pound of chicken breast provides so many options. Do you make stir fry? Do you stuff it with spinach and cheese? Do you bake it with honey and garlic? Do you deep fry it? The possibilities are endless. What do you do with the same chicken in India? You throw it in the pressure cooker with chili powder, onions, green chilies, curry leaves, ginger garlic paste, salt, and masala. Then you make the tough decision. Rice or Roti? And you shovel it in. And it tastes like every else you ate that week. And everything else you'll eat next week. And the week after.

 

It really brings to light the expression: "Living to Eat? or Eating to Live?" If you put an Indian dish in front of me these days, I'll eat only enough to keep my stomach quiet for a few hours, until I get to do it all over again. Rinse and Repeat.

 

Please don't misunderstand. I am exponentially thankful for ability to sit down to a hot meal whenever I choose, especially when I see so many people daily that do not have that luxury. But man, I'm maxed out on curry.